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2006, We hardly knew you...right?

So breaks been pretty good, and 2006 is coming to an end... despite all that i've done this year (the good and the bad) I'm thankful to all of you for making it memorable. Lets take a few miniutes to address a few things (what some refer to as "inconsistencies").

+: The whole Nihilist spew ... :+
-made a big decision recently - I'm not a nihilist (atleast not yet) - but thats not to say that i will or am destined to be one. I really enjoy reading nietzsche, not because he's a pessimist and i'm some sort of bastard that enjoys pain, but because his philosophy makes sense to me. It clicks. (although i do ponder the occasional "wtf" while reading Human, all too human.) Infact I read a really interesting passage today that entailed that we can only become "free spirits" if we can "climb the rungs of the moral ladder" to see metaphysics for what it is. And only with contempt can we rise to break down the paradigm of society. (values, religion etc...) but we'll save that for a later post (i'm sure i have no idea what i'm talking about)

+: Debate :+
-Things are going to stay the same, I'm not going to quit (not now at least). Although i must say i'm not very content with the choice of tournaments we're going too. A medium of communication is better than none. (++ assuming J doesn't go COMPLETELY nuts - I've still got state).

+: Friends :+
-As much as I tell you how much I hate you, I love you guys. Thanks for all the comments on the facebook blog and helping me see =) (much appreciated) I hope that 2007 will bring just as many awesome friends and just as awesome memories. =) =)
How about we embarrace a few of you fuckers? =P (No spec. order)

Steph (eatus-nothingus) - You're a total bad-ass. Thanks for listening to me when I'm sad, for abandoning your friends for me @ lunch =P, and overall being a great friend. We're going to have a blast @ Debate camp this summer, wont we?

Chacko (cuttus-wristus) - Alright you Emo bastard, i decided to appease you by putting you in here (just so you wont cut yourself over ME anymore) Looking forward to another whole semester of Algebra II with your ass. Remember the good times, at bay city GImprov for ever =) =) =)

Mack (fattus-maximus) - oh man, where do i even start? Thanks for beating me up every morn... oh wait. Thanks for pushing me arou... oh wait. OH!! I know, thanks for 6th in group impro... oh wait (That was chacko's fault). But what I really want to thank you for... is your warmups =) =) (i really do enjoy fucking over black people..)

Raj (First name ass, last name hole) - yeah, i said it. No really, you're an awesome guy (when you want to be). We've got man-love. Thanks for listening to my problems and going on a diet with me. I'll make sure we make YOUR "christmas wish" come true.

Rishab (original_scammer) - Yeah we've done stupid shit together... so what? lol - thanks for covering my ass when mondo wouldn't stfu. You're awesome.

Ha (dorkus maximus)- You're an angel, yes you are. Thank you for being there at like 1 in the morning when I needed someone to talk to. Youuu are amazing ha, and its hard to believe that you will be gone next year... almost.. sad =(.

Asif (terrorist.) - Asif, you're a badass. I won't forget your beard, oh! and ofcourse all of the CX you tought me fish year. thank youu. You took a lot of time out of your junior year to teach us, and I hope one day to prove to you that your efforts weren't in vain. --You're great asif.

Lara (m-azing) - You've taught me so much, I cant even begin to tell you. Thank you Lara, you taught me debate, life, philosophy and to believe in the power of language. (and much more ;-)) Thank you for being there for me when i need to talk... I'm going to miss you so much =(

Ofcourse these are only the people that first popped into my head... if you want a spew of your own, aim/call/comment.

+: Love, Like, Significance? :+
-So a few of you may know, I really like someone. Maybe Christmas was a bust guys, but I think in a sense talking to her is my "divine" gift (if i'm even allowed to use that word). The only thing thats been killing me lately is the distance situation. For all of you who have ever had a significant other that lived more than 45 minutes away: I sympathize, because its balls when you're sad. Regardless, I think this last month of 06 has been pretty good -- Thank you =)

When you love someone, I mean really love someone, there come with this love a few responsibilities. Theres the responsibility of welfare, to make sure you're significant other is ok at the end of the day, the responsibility of comfort (which of course lies in being able to be as comfortable as a panda around him/her) and finally, the responsibility of externalization(this probibly should have been first, but its more dramatic to put the one you're having problems with at the end).
Regardless of how much you tell them you love them, seeing the inevitably limited nature of language, we find that words are unable to transcend your feelings. But what does one do when words are the only thing you have... I suppose describing your feelings is sufficient? This i can do.

You're the reason I woke up. I run home because I want to talk to you, but when we talk on the way home... I dread seeing my driveway. I spell your name with skittles. I manage to bore my friends talking about you, but Its exhilarating to me. I look at my phone, just for the screen saver (thats you!). I dream about you. I eagerly wait for your replies. I look at my phone in the middle of the night, just to see if you called. You make me feel valued. You make me feel significant. I day dream about you. I miss you. I can't get you out of my mind, and I don't even want to try anymore. Your happyness is a personal struggle. (for me).

Theres so much more, but i'll add later guys. Sometimes you just don't feel like writing through tears.


Reproclimation: God is Dead.

"God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we, murderers of all murderers, console ourselves? That which was the holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet possessed has bled to death under our knives. Who will wipe this blood off us? With what water could we purify ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not ourselves become gods simply to be worthy of it?"
— Nietzsche, The Gay Science

You know what world? I've been thinking and Nietzsche couldn't have been more correct when he said "god is dead". However, I do not agree to the fact that we have killed god. God has killed us. He has killed the inspiration of a 15 year old child, he has killed the hope in the hearts of millions he has killed so many around the world. "come to the light, come to my arms" he says. Thats bullshit, thats just a fucking excuse to take our loved ones and cause excessive pain. I stand here, living a life that I can't say i'm to fond of, because every time anything good ever happens to me, its taken away. The world is a melancholy place, crowded with the dark discomfort of knowing whatever you have today may be gone tomorrow. Sometimes this is why I cry... but other times its beucase of all the things that i'll never get to experience, all the things I wont ever have.

I won't ever have the opertunity to debate at the TOC; not to say that I would ever qualify for it concidering that i'm a terrible debater, "hightower F" as some proclaim. Why? because my fucking school is too busy buying football equipment, spending so much money on basketball shoes and equipment that it refuses to support anything remotely intellectualy stimulating. I've embraced you're thinking Lara, this intellectual discussion we want to have after a debate round won't ever happen. Ever. Not as long as the best tournament we go to all year is Katy Taylor and a fucking game is more important than something thats remotly academically stimulating.

Moreover, today has opened my eyes to Nihilism. Maybe every action we take realy is setting us up for a bigger fall? I for one am tired of this temporary pleasures, temporary happyness, temporary peace. I'm tired of working and working for things only to have them snached from me. I'm tired of loving so much, only to be slapped by reality. I'm tired of having everything I love taken away from me... so maybe I shouldn't persue it in the first place? Wouldn't that be smart? Then again, I'm incapable of rationality. Catch a fucking hint, our actions mean nothing.

I'm out. maybe i'll add more later..

oh, and thanks again world.


God the [not] so funny commedian

3rd time...

Ive tried writing something about this 3 times now, and found that mrs. wilson couldn't have been more correct when she told us our writing is terribly disorganized.

Aparently, we're supposed to develop a purpose for writing, and since there's no actual prompt or question today, i take it as incumbant upon myeslf to establish why i'm writing this post. To complain; you're welcome to call me a nagging bitch; thats you're perrogative.

God is an entity with a bad sense of humor,
Thus far, i've established myself to be quite religiously apathetic. Although I aknowlege an existance in a higher power, i'm not quite sure what to think of it yet. Today i've stepped closer to understanding though for i've stumbled upon the conclusion that god has a terrible sense of humor. I've found that i'm destined to a life of solitude. Now this may not include emotional solitude, for thanks to a special someone, my need for being liked/loved is quite satisfied. *thank you*. But physicaly, I'm destined to solitude. Why you ask? becuase god sees to it it that everyone that reciprocates any form love, or rather, feelings beyond friendship reamains physically intangible. Har d fucking har har... I don't think its funny for everything that I want at this moment right now, i'll never have. This is the sad truth. Realities a bitch.

As for school, fuck it.
I'm tired of fucking stress..

Maybe we'll talk later blog,
Goodluck && Goodnight.


a public service announcement

So today, I realise that I am utterly useless.

Ever have one of those days? when you sit down to do something and find that you simply can't. Nomatter how hard you try, your efforts will allways be useless. Today was one of those days. I do not wish to go into details, but I will say this.

I'm tired of me.

I'm tired of the stupid shit I do
I'm tired of not being able to understand.
I'm tired of everyone expecting so much out of me
because guys, i'm not special.

I'm not what you want me to be mom, dad.
I'm not what you think I am.
You people look at me daily, and fill me with this bullshit
stop. for the love of god, stop.

In other news, I havn't written here in a while and I allmost feel guilty for that. The truth is, I've missed you blog. I'm going to try to update this as much as possible again. Also, i'm going to try to stop watching as much T.V. and read more.. I feel myself getting stupider by the day. And although I may not be "smart" I wish to preserve whatever I have now. I'm going to go read some foucault. I'll write about it soon.

I'm sorry.


Waking Life

You say it is you whos job it is to nurture me, to help me grow, but how can I grow without space? You, you want me to grow to be someone intelligent, someone strong, someone whos hands rest on the levies of power. I recognise this, But how is it that I'm expected to grow when your shaddow, are pinning me to the earth witch you have cherrished. How, how can you expect me to grow when the spit of your tongue is the same spit which is drowning me, in a pool stained with the dried blood of your past.

You say you want whats best for me, that in order for me to grow I must adhere to your standards for personal betterment, but fail recognise the growth which has occurred so blatantly in front of your eyes in the past 15 years. Why? Because you don't know me. You have ignored me, and seperated me from who I am when I speak to you through fear. I am afriad of you, because I cannot talk to you without angering you. I will not say you have given up on me, for that is simply untrue - but, you have, you have created a wall so thick with fear, it has become embedded in this "relationship" I have with you. So thick, that in attempting to take a single bloody brick out of this wall, I will have destroyed us.

I am fluid, and each drop of education that I add in this life makes me larger, makes me grow. I have become too large for your container, and it is begining to overflow. I can now see your values, your actions from the outside, and though I am not attempting to disrespect or devalue you, that is exactly waht you have done to me. Age may add to the shape of ones values, but I am not your reflection.

Now, here I am writing about you, pouring my heart into a container, a table on a website for the world to see... but you will never stumble upon this, because you are out somewhere driving, away from me with the idea that I simply don't care, but you are mistaken in this assertian. For if I simply didn't care I wouldn't spend this waking life thinking, writing, about my experiences. Thinking, writing, about you.

Although I may never try again to remove that brick - understand that I will not appologize for doing so. Don't expect that I will.

V A L U E S are something you must R E S P E C T


ALT: Rethink!

So we meet again blog...

This time, just me and you (and reader ofcourse) =) - Do you know why i love you blog?

because you help me keep track of my emotions, you are the one who allows me to unclutter my thoughts... well sorta.

Let us start todays post with an explanation of the contents of this one, and an implication as to the origin of the first post. This weekend was Katy- Taylor TFA The first post-camp tournament I have ever gone to. Results were overall quite sucessful, for the first tournament guys, we pwned.

For all of those who are curious- Concider the following


Ha Nguyen - 3rd place

Nick BROWN (hehe) - Top 12 Congress

Ha Nguyen - 2nd place
Shamez Hemani - Finalist

Hemani/Raj - 2nd Place
Pena/Nanjee - 3rd Place
Singh/Virani - 3rd Place (WEWT!!!)

Impomp Tu
Ha Nguyen - 1st place.


3rd place Sweepstakes (w/ 9 People!)

As you can see this tournament was quite successful for HHS, and specificaly me. If there is one thing i've learned from it is that I need confidence in my arguments, from the begining.

Doubt one cares, but read on for a collection of pointless events

*Yawn* The learnings of this contest SHALL be updated in the future, preferably tomorrow night, but we shall see.


YES! this is what you avid readers have been looking forward to. I have singlehandedly detracted from the coutdown to the elections in 2008, as readers from all around the world tune in to listen to ME and MY story.

So - this whole semi-finals buesness. I'm not so sure how i made it this far, but it happened guys, i'm not full of myself, I'm happy sure- I think i'm amazed actualy. Well elkins is in 2 days, we'll see how we do there.


While it may not be that awesome, hope some of you get something out of reading this post

Lessons and Anticdotes

in response to my debate record... honestly kids, i didn't expect to get as far as i did, after day one i was practically in tears I'm not so sure how i made it this far, but it happened guys, i'm not full of myself, I'm happy sure- I think i'm amazed actualy. Well elkins is in 2 days, we'll see how we do there.

Chacko can't cary a tub... or can he? thats right kids, chacko cleaned up the extemp room and caried the tub back ALL BY HIMSELF! - dosn't mack have an amazing CX partner?

MY FLOWS! - This ones, for you babe - we'ze still friends - just stay the FUCK away from my flows! *GASP*

North Korea Peace Corps = IMPERIALISM - quarters came down to this and solvancy, Lets just get this strait BHS - Peace Corps = = Imperalism as it is... Sending them to fucking north korea to SHOW them how to farm? thats effn' imperialism. Oops, did I just de-clasify the AMAZING bellaire affirmative? *laugh*

Trophy's are Sweet - So, as some of you may have heard, I got my first trophy ever at taylor hs. Yeah, as crazy as you kids are for thinking i'm good... i'm not - I didn't ever do that great in novice events - got a few ribbons last year for FX / PX - nothn' special.

Magic Sophomore - I <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Last but not least.... neg = fun.

I'm out.


Cry Shikhar Cry,
Cry for the Indigent Citizen; unable to understand the politics of the nation in witch he resides
Cry for all that was lost;
Cry for Education - for it weeps too, shedding tears of failure
Cry for all those whom will never understand
Cry more for all those whom think they understand

Shed countless tears for each one, but at the end...

Remember - You Mean Nothing.

What you say, What you do, How you act- Means Absolutely Nothing to Anyone Else.

Dear World, Insignificant i stand.

The Filthy Roots of Ignorance

Ever wonder if society wants us to be ignorant? To constantly rot our minds with TV and whore ourselves out on myspace as if it were necessary for servival. It seems as if societies attitude has turned most of us the color of misty's eye shaddow... blue.

Think about it, when someone sees you reading a book, or otherwise conducting yourself in a progressive, educational fashon, the first response is allmost allways "What are you doing?". What fails to be aknowledged is that its not what you are doing its rather, a lack of what they are doing. Is it not? Sure its something, but its an act with no pourpose or otherwise gain. It realy hurts to be looked upon as a freak, or a "geek" or an "idiot" for doing something the average person wouldn't do, or dosn't do. So what we must do, is question what makes it out of the ordinary, extraordinary.

I. Reading
Why is reading viewed upon as such a chore, as a burden, as an exausting act. This is not to say that i'm not guilty, often I see reading as something i'm not mentaly prepared to do, but why is it that for so many, its just not an option. Why is it that summer reading has become a race to sparknotes, cliffnotes, pink monkey or whatever? Beucase people have become desensitized to reading, people have become, grown further and further away from reading. There is a median, a fog, a haze that disallows man to see why we read, or for that matter why any medium of conversation exists to this date. Conversation, and discourse have been preserved mainly becuase man needs communication, man needs to be able to express abstract thoughts in terms of tangible discourse witch, although will inevitabley lose some detail, through the effective use of comunication, we can decrease this loss. So can it be possible that reading is simply "out of style" that it is growing obsolete and the new age methods of communication are TV and speech? If so, exclude me out. I cant speak for all, but this is why I read: Reading is my way to understand others, others far away, others i've never met... without being trapped in a timeframe. Its my way of escaping from everything... yet solving it all. Its my way of learning outside of curriculum. That is why I read. For the knowledge of others.

II. Speech
Speech is often syphoned by the majority of society - using big words, or rather "Big" words in every day speech constitutes that you are better than someone, that you are perhaps more educated and are trying to showcase that.. trying establish your domination over others...but as someone who uses "big" words in every day speech my motives are quite the contrary. Language is a powrful tool to express yourself, to transcend your emotions past your mind and into anothers. I have found that good, or rather descriptive language is key to doing so. Also, its you that constitutes them as "big" words, why not out of the ordinary?

Whatever guys, call me what you want - Nerd / Dumbass / Smartass / Overachiever whatever you want. Just know that my actions aren't to please others- when I spend time on an essay, its not simply to get an A on it. Knowledge is important, Learning is important. I could care less if you disagree.


"Deterioration of education take backseat to world domination thats why we hustle in the back street know when to pack heat just to eat no exaduration" - Rico Pabon

Comments and Complaints

English is hard - I'm bad at symbolism, I'm bad at understanding "why" (or even worse, why for the why for why of why)

School days are long- especialy after lunch... There's a mathematical formula to perceptional time after lunch... [ L=1/c (t) ] where L is the the time after lunch, C is the number of chockolate milks you drank and T is the amount of time you have left normaly.

There's nothing harder than finding shoes- except ofcourse, finding and purchasing them.

Rain is sweet - see explanation below

Driving school is a waste of time - My teacher spells license with an "o" (don't ask)

For life to be valued, it must be human - erm, or atleast thats what society preaches us, why is it that we can walk away from an animal on the road, after it has been mowed over like common grass... yet moap when someone dies naturaly?

The stench of death is what makes us uncomfortable - not the sight of it... ever wondered waht it is about sensing the stench of a decomposing corpse that makes us uncomfortable, is it the sheer smell? or is it death itself?

People are mean - aren't they?

Thoughts on Janmashtami Celebration / Garba - This is for all you people who have stopped and wondered why the hell you go to janmashtami / garba celebrations every year. Dont. Its pointless, no i'm not sacreligious - the concept behind it is pretty sweet, but going to socialize is a big no no. Lets just think about what happens, you see these people that you havn't seen in a fucking year, you talk to them about how you've been in the past year, they lie to you... tell you they miss you and they want to keep in touch. Then the night is over, and they never even attempt to talk to you more than once, they forget about you... the next year when you see them, its the same damn conversation. Blast that conversation to hell... back where it came from

TaliBBQ- hehe, I'm horrible i know. I ended up going to a place called "BBQ Tonight" an indo-pak restaurant (yes its scaled as per the sign), for some guys graduation party (dad's friends) Allthough the food wasn't extravagant, the experience i shall allways remember - something about seperating men, from women, from children just dosn't settle in my stomach, ironicly - neither does the food. And yes, to rip on you islamic readers, its the TaliBBQ =)

Authority angers me - Authority allways constructs itself as a higher power, as someone greater then you - in some variable, this can be height, stature, economic position, or even in its work. Its constructed heirchialy, mutilated, formulated to make the controlled feel lesser. It works to tell you things, at a 100 miles per hour without stopping to ask if you understood one, or rather, cared to understand one. It constructs itself as such that it is angry when something dosn't get done correctly, as per its standard. So it works incessantly to point out flaws in the work you have done, it cites directions it gave you in the past, without realizing that the directions contradicted themselves... this inherant contradiction is exactly what authority is. Crap.

Its getting late - and i have things to do, better things, well... atleast more important things.

Thanks for the time...


Natural Observations

You're sitting inside... alone, when in the corner of your eye you see the rain pouring down outside. You look up; the sky is grey, almost angry at the world. You open the door to feel the wind. It feels cool; it feels like childhood, like happiness, so you move closer to the door. As you sit down again you feel tempted, almost as if the wind you let in is calling to you, asking you, begging you to come outside. It’s begging you to come outside and open your arms to feel its cold face against your chest, calling for you to embrace it.... so you do.

You walk outside, and the sky suddenly doesn’t seem so grey. The wind wraps you and you feel warm, you feel like you did before you were born, you feel safe yet at the same time vulnerable. The wind has wrapped you as it said it would, its howling creates awe, a sort of ambience. You begin to notice other sounds, the beats of raindrops on your neighbor’s roof, the fluid awe created with puddles growing with every drop. Now the rain is calling you, you kiss the wind goodbye as you are now infatuated by the rain.

R A I N continues to submerge yourself in its cool aura. It acts like the wind and wraps you tight, but at the same time you feel free. It’s different though, it feels wet it calms you, and every drop takes you further away from reality. You feel the grass with your feet... it tempts you as the wind had done before. You make sure no ones looking, but pretend to trip anyways as you fall to the ground it’s the best trip of your life. The grass is like linen against your skin, soft to the touch. You turn over so your lying face up looking at what once was the angry sky, its size makes you feel small, and though its the center of your focus, in your peripheral vision you see color as you have never seen it before...

The vibrant color attracts your eyes... it bursts, it looks energized almost replenished by the heavenly waters. You let your eyes relax they follow the color, Bright red of the flower, The rich green of the stem... and the deep brown of the dirt you know its soft without touching it. As you look into the deep colors you wish for you could be them, you wish you could stay as you are forever... The rain begins to slow to a drizzle. You can see the plants begin to dull and the wind calms. You turn your face away from the flowers and you look back to the sky... It looks bright and happy again, but you feel disheartened. The rain stops... you look to your left then your right, and then you wonder why again... why are you lying in a dirty puddle in your back yard?

So much can happen in a matter of minutes, observe life.


Thank you Rain.

Sexual Injustice

So, i feel as if i've done injustice to this here blog - have been ignoring you lately blog, i'm sorry.

So whats todays post about? Well just as the title implies, sexuality. What constructs our sexuality? Society, Experience, Genetics, or a combination of the three? An exploration of each can help us narrow this down... i think. Well here it is.

Societal Influences - rather apparent and self explanitory, most when living in such a hetero-normative society are influenced by it. Ridiculing the "outsiders" witch are in this case the G/L/B/T. What if however, one is constantly shunned away from this norm of being a heterosexual. Even if by definition he is included - what if he is rejected in societies eyes, witch is constantly pushing him to the others. However the others is exactly what he tries to get away from, for he knows he's not. What can we conclude his sexuality to be? Obviously society shapes us in many ways, at what point do we simply accept that we don't belong to the norm - if so, do we automaticaly become the alternative, or do we languish between the binary?

Experience - Do our experiences define what we are, in terms of sexuality? Well I suppose we can apply the situation to another question to possibly get an answer. Someone is constantly exposed to violence throughout there childhood, everything they see is violence, Gang Fights, Domestic Violence to the one they call "mother", even the poliece are violent. What could beocme of such a person. According to absolutely nothing outisde of my logic, I would infer that that person would either become a violent person himself or a pascifist... becuase he' can see through the disguize violence puts on, and understands how truely arbetrary it is. Does sexuality work the same way? If someone is put through fucking hell in every heterosexual relationship he has, does that constitute a change of sexuality?

Genetics - Modern science has suggested what is commonly reffered to as a "Gay gene". Apparently there is a certain amount of grey matter in your brain witch determines your sexuality. Suggesting that before you are boarn your sexuality is predtermined. Another theory indicates that perhaps sexuality is determined when you are in the womb and certain conditions witch you are exposed to can shape your development and control your sexuality.

Personaly, I don't understand how sexuality works. I don't understand why my sexuality is called into question all so often.
I dont understand - and i'f that makes me stupid then so be it.

Shikhar Singh

mood: Kansas - "Dust in the wind"

note: these are pure thoughts, didn't edit thise once yet - exausted and i dont care to look over it. disagree? comment.


happy 2 month aniversary blog.

Critical Thinking

As I think about education, I find myself more and more fascinated by the racial fabric that seems to have woven our society. Fabric witch is seemingly impossible to tear, that no matter how hard one tries - will still exist in the under roots of American society. So, in attempts to do the unthinkable - I have devoted this post to the underlying racism that occurs in relation to a place most of us will have to go back to in the next few days - School.
A few days ago, well this i suppose was the first time i had noticed, I found myself in a conversation about how a school was going to close soon if its scores wouldn't go up (some HISD school). Anywho, this is what I heard - "Its all because of them damn niggers that don’t want to learn nothin' [...] They just go to school and waste that teachers time, and then bitch about why they cant get a job [...] the problem is, they don't value education." - Aaphauling I know, - unfortunately I didn't respond to this. Let’s take a moment however, to analyze the above. One of the things that stands out most in this thought is "The problem is, they don't value education." Oh really? Do they not value education, or does education not value them? Or in a more correct sense, does the state not value them? Now please don’t any of you try to respond to this with claims of racial recognition by the state through programs like Affirmative Action, for to this day I have yet to see a program that strengthens my claims of the racial fabric of society. America feeds to us that we are all equal... how? How the hell are we all equal when kids that go to schools in the ghetto are deprived of teachers witch are truly devoted to education, why then is it seen as a promotion to move to a school in a better area? The state seems to think that programs like AA are the fuckign solution to problems like this, they have the mentality that "oh, poor you - I’m sorry you had crappy teachers. Here, you want to go to North Western? Allright, go." This mentality only further greatens the dichotomy witch exists between urban culture and everyone else. This "Compensation" if it can really be called that fails to understand that RACE is not a handicap! The systematic deprivation that exists in America’s schools is not a problem witch is going to go away; critical education is the only way to solve such a deficit.
Another rather revealing part of this quote lies in the assumption that it’s the "niggers" that are messing up grades. Without any report, without any outside education - the fact that the school is closing must be because of the damn niggers huh... This prime assumption is proof of the racial fabric witch still engulfs the minds of the youth. In response: I feel as if even after hundreds of years of slavery, Americans still haven’t learned, or rather - Refuse to accept, what our country was founded on. (Yes I said OUR) - Equality. As seemingly impossible as it sounds, Equality - in my eyes, can be achieved. Maybe not financial equality but the mere acceptance of every one as a contributing member of society, I believe can be done, but only if we can look past race. (Witch through previous assertions seems impossible).
Finally, let’s look at the middle, and most paradoxical line of this quote. "[...] They just go to school and waste that teachers time, and then bitch about why they cant get a job" Immediately "They waste teachers time" catches my eye. What the fuck does that even mean? How can one propose that they are wasting the teachers time, when because of programs like no child left behind (NLCB) the curriculum is based soaly on "passing" the TAKS! If anything, this illustrates how the teacher, or rather the curriculum, is wasting the students’ time! For how much can u actually learn simply practicing for a test for an entire year? This proves NLCB to be a failure, at the point when they reward schools that attain higher scores, they clearly project to the schools what is truly important, and thus setting an agenda witch focuses simply on improving scores, not education. Lastly let’s look at "and then they bitch about why they can’t get a job". This inability to get a job demonstrates the true lack of praxial skills taught by school, and you can look at bitching as complaining - why wouldn't you complain about a school system that’s failed? Hell I’m bitching right now!
We all must learn to see the racism clearly portrayed by American system of "education". Comments like the one analyzed above will continue to be made unless we learn to see each other as equals, until we break down racism. As impossible of a task this is - it must be done.
I understand I’ve made a mistake by not attempting to correct the mentality of the person who said the above - and I’m sorry for that, But learn from my mistakes my friends - if faced with a situation witch can potentially open the eyes of someone who refuses to see reality, engage in doing so.

Current Mood: Freedom Time - Lauryn Hill

Science and Metaphysics.

We start today's thought with a question, Why. Why are we all forced to accept things? Why is it absolutely impossible to deviate from them? Why is science seen as wholely true, and even if not seen this way - why is it argued like this?
As much as i can contest to loving Mr. Darwin's work I also feel that in a way, its blown up and reguarded as truth. Take into concideration however, what truth is? - - Without delving into this lets discuss the conclusion that is drawn from darwinism through his discourse of survival and reproduction: man is inherately selfish. Man will constantly work for his survival man will never devote himself to a cause or sacrefice himself, ofcourse not- thats unheard of. But once we accept this what is the point of even thinking of a future where this was changed? Does accepting this hinder thought? Take into concideration Marxism - a system of government based on communal thought and a communal effort, based on a conclusion that man strives for society to be better, that if we all just did our part this goal isn't so distant. If man is truely inherately selfish a distruction of capitolism would mean that there is no longer any drive for man to work, that its no longer for HIS servival persay, but now is for communal growth. What i mean to say is that Marxism has allways made the argument that all people are equal. This sparks the question : Why, why do i work? Why do I ,the Marxist Scientist, work so hard going through school for 15 years while Cleetus the unruely redneck does nothing but plant crops all day? I'm not exactly sure why, but i feel that maybe darwins asertions are only true for a capitolistic society. That maybe in a marxist society we wouldn't think like this. Maybe we wouldn't differenciate between how much work Cleetus and the scientist do. Or maybe he' is right... maybe his assertions are true in ever instance.
The basic problem i'm having is at what point does this, all of what i just wrote, all of what i've ever thought - become pointless? At what point do i just give up, and realise that my thoughts are absolutely insignificant that there is absolutely NO value in me even thinking about this.

Thats a tough cookie, maybe you guys can help me answer this...


So, I finaly decided to create one of these nifty little things -I've got news for everyone that's reading this, WELCOME - you have stumbled upon, perhapps the most useless blog ever, it is simply about a random kids life, and nothing more. [well maybe a little more]

Realy nothing much to do tonight, but heat up some capaccuino, sit down on the old (or should i say new) lappy top, and do some fucking research (as well as update these blog =]) Debate camp is in a week, and I must confess, The Daily show with Jon Stuart is the closest i've been to research on the new topic (about as far as pluto to give you an exact mesure) Gotta bust out some skills... erm as soon as i find them ofcourse.

So let's get started with that, and stopping with this =]

much love to you all,


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